I love a good conundrum. I feel your pain so very much. I find myself putting immense pressure on myself to produce more, and that can take the fun out of what we’re doing here.
But then I lose myself in a piece (I’m lost in one right now, in fact), and I remember how that feeling — the feeling of wrestling with the deepest truths of reality, and making a little headway — is just so utterly satisfying. That’s why we do this. We do it to find our truths and speak them — through stories and essays and poetry. Claps are great, and matter, but not as much as leaving it all on the page, and getting to have others be able to support you.